Airhead - What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.Argument - A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Balance the checkbook - To go to the cash machine and hit "inquire."
Bar-be-que - You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up but he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes - Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe - Gotta get married in a church.
Childbirth - You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, "Focus . . .breathe . . . push . .. . ."
Clothes dryer - An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda - A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity - The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise - To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List - What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser - Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.
Hardware Store - Similar to a black hole in space -- if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Lipstick - On your lips: coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar: coloring only a tramp would wear!
Park - Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning "a place with a swing set and slide."
Patience - The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
Valentine's Day - A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
Waterproof Mascara - Comes off if you cry, shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Zillion - The number of times you ask someone to take out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway.