The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your
spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front
of her kids.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
If anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, watch
this."
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a daycare.
You think the last words of The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines".
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
You had to remove the toothpick for your wedding pictures.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
